Sacred Elixir

In the soft sunlight of Sunday morning circle, an amazing sense of calm and peace continues to descend through today as the tiny million pieces of self realign with true purpose. I felt completely compelled to honor my dear friend Simon Goland Sunday morning in circle and again here in the immortality of cyberspace. I am just really overcome with the urge to give voice to how absolutely grateful that I am for his invaluable support as I harvest the courage to live the life I deserve. I laid down my dagger of destruction and brandished a new sword, shiny and glistening, to not behead my opponent, rather to slay my own demons. A shadow was lifted off of my heart through my connection with him, after all I do think of him as the Chosen One. And after some wee bit of polishing off of my heart with intention, I was able to transform the dull surface into a glistening jewel of valor and love, the authenticity of our collective community practice seeking out internal peace and fierce right lively hood. It is second nature for us to feel the pulse of social justice and transformational consciousness spike through our veins, a fabulous competitive factor of the program. Faculty and students alike come together at Bainbrige Graduate Institute, ferverently rewriting the next act in the hero's journey. Initiation has proven to be wicked hard and often dark and scary.

" To be human is to become visible while carrying what is hidden as a gift to others." -Wythe

After my first year with time to reflect, I have such a rich deep understanding of the power of BGI. Such a profound feeling like floating on the air giddy with the possibilities in the face of rapidly approaching death tolls and the worst darkness and fear the world has ever known. And to even compound the profundity of the self discovery is the realization of the powerful significance of relationship and love infused into the ecosystem of humanity of the best sustainable MBA program. Ever. Wanting to feel connected I surfed Simon's blog and was struck by the timeliness of an old post written in February 2009 feels like it was written just for me months later, I love how words endure What to remember when waking. The dia de los muertos theme to the weekend literally and metaphorically was transmuted by an amazing sacred elixir of true deep love and appreciation for each other. After a week of celebration in their honor, the ancestors left behind a parting gift, a deep experience of connectedness as One consciousness. Sunday morning as the ancestors retreated back across the mirror back into the Invisible they were sure to bid us farewell in morning circle with the protagonist brotherly love center stage and so intoxicating. consciousness evolution in progress...

In that first
hardly noticed
moment
to which you wake,
coming back
to this life
from the other
more secret,
moveable
and frighteningly
honest
world
where everything
began,
there is a small
opening
into the new day
which closes
the moment
you begin
your plans.

What you can plan
is too small
for you to live.

What you can live
wholeheartedly
will make plans
enough
for the vitality
hidden in your sleep.

To be human
is to become visible
while carrying
what is hidden
as a gift to others.

To remember
the other world
in this world
is to live in your
true inheritance.

You are not
a troubled guest
on this earth,
you are not
an accident
amidst other accidents
you were invited
from another and greater
night
than the one
from which
you have just emerged.

Now, looking through
the slanting light
of the morning
window toward
the mountain
presence
of everything
that can be,
what urgency
calls you to your
one love? What shape
waits in the seed
of you to grow
and spread
its branches
against a future sky?

Is it waiting
in the fertile sea?
In the trees
beyond the house?
In the life
you can imagine
for yourself?
In the open
and lovely
white page
on the waiting desk?

- David Whyte

art. consciousness. sustainability.

Creativity is a stream of consciousness. Mine comes in streaks. Usually after terrible moments of dark sticky blackness. I can't stay that way forever. All I can to do is get up and dust myself off and walk into the power that is waiting for me when I stand up. If only I could recognize what shape that might take.

Sometimes I think it might just be easier to give up and die. Death, metaphorically, as in my mortal soul idly waiting for the transfer of physical energy back into the invisible if I accept a conventional fate. If I lived a life devoid of fire then my eyes would reflect a dull emptiness of the apathy I see among peers of a similar generation. "Owning my power" is something my friend Bonnie likes to remind me to do. My friend Julie held out her arms to rescue me across the blogosphere and responded deeply to my existential crisis. I ricochet across so much discontent I am literally numb to the pain, but simultaneously awakening to the acute stinging it brings that I so adeptly ignore. Yet, feeling is trickling back, thawing out and taking over at the seemingly worst timing in the world. I need clarity of mind while I tackle this final year of my graduate studies at Bainbridge Graduate Institute. Instead I find myself in a quagmire. Stupid feelings. I hurl that statement with all the petulance of a child. The ability to focus upon and quantify what ails my soul through teachings of leadership and personal development has been the panacea to self implosion in a hot molten lava sort of way. Or, perhaps a likeness that more closely resembles a tidal wave. Often I find myself riding the crest feeling the high of triumph and then literally and completely being pummeled into a skin bag of bones, crushed under the weight of the wave.

Year 2007 was marked by various occasions where the hook of this mantra slinked through my mind cyclically.

consciousness evolution in progress...

around and around at a predictable clip of frequency that used to be extremely loud in my thoughts has now slowed down to just an echo today of what it was.

I am looking to bring forth my own human genius in the name of sustainability as well as being there to support people finding their own. I lay my feelings down bare before you in testament to the depth and breadth of my feelings expressed in words coupled with the enormous gravity regarding the situation of the world and climate change. I hate this. I would much rather prefer to keep these thoughts of mine between close friends over the intimacy of a dinner party. Instead I am broadcasting them out on the web in a homegrown BGI folksonomy experiment. It is not what I imagined for myself, mucking around to encounter an entrenched path to freedom and peace. It is instead indeed what showed up. I can't say no. I can just pick up where I left off.

Life imitates art.

Living peace out loud.

Building a bridge between that which is divided in two.

MP