art. consciousness. sustainability.

Creativity is a stream of consciousness. Mine comes in streaks. Usually after terrible moments of dark sticky blackness. I can't stay that way forever. All I can to do is get up and dust myself off and walk into the power that is waiting for me when I stand up. If only I could recognize what shape that might take.

Sometimes I think it might just be easier to give up and die. Death, metaphorically, as in my mortal soul idly waiting for the transfer of physical energy back into the invisible if I accept a conventional fate. If I lived a life devoid of fire then my eyes would reflect a dull emptiness of the apathy I see among peers of a similar generation. "Owning my power" is something my friend Bonnie likes to remind me to do. My friend Julie held out her arms to rescue me across the blogosphere and responded deeply to my existential crisis. I ricochet across so much discontent I am literally numb to the pain, but simultaneously awakening to the acute stinging it brings that I so adeptly ignore. Yet, feeling is trickling back, thawing out and taking over at the seemingly worst timing in the world. I need clarity of mind while I tackle this final year of my graduate studies at Bainbridge Graduate Institute. Instead I find myself in a quagmire. Stupid feelings. I hurl that statement with all the petulance of a child. The ability to focus upon and quantify what ails my soul through teachings of leadership and personal development has been the panacea to self implosion in a hot molten lava sort of way. Or, perhaps a likeness that more closely resembles a tidal wave. Often I find myself riding the crest feeling the high of triumph and then literally and completely being pummeled into a skin bag of bones, crushed under the weight of the wave.

Year 2007 was marked by various occasions where the hook of this mantra slinked through my mind cyclically.

consciousness evolution in progress...

around and around at a predictable clip of frequency that used to be extremely loud in my thoughts has now slowed down to just an echo today of what it was.

I am looking to bring forth my own human genius in the name of sustainability as well as being there to support people finding their own. I lay my feelings down bare before you in testament to the depth and breadth of my feelings expressed in words coupled with the enormous gravity regarding the situation of the world and climate change. I hate this. I would much rather prefer to keep these thoughts of mine between close friends over the intimacy of a dinner party. Instead I am broadcasting them out on the web in a homegrown BGI folksonomy experiment. It is not what I imagined for myself, mucking around to encounter an entrenched path to freedom and peace. It is instead indeed what showed up. I can't say no. I can just pick up where I left off.

Life imitates art.

Living peace out loud.

Building a bridge between that which is divided in two.

MP

Feeling pretty Halloween

I've been feeling like a failure on many fronts. The internal pressure of my head all swirled up with angst, I think it would feel better split in two by a rock dripping blood into my eyes at least I would get some relief from the unrest I feel. Never mind the physical pain. Inadequacy is the word of the week blinking in bright neon across the firestorm of unearthed bad feelings. Rotten and fetid. I guess after all it is Halloween. Far from Namaste I float in a self created purgatory captured by the selfishness of intense emotion. Still struggling to catch up with my life I keep tripping on my peasants clothes, and that elusive finish line moves further and further out into the distance.

hiphop namaste debut

The church of hiphop and my ancestors had a baby. Hiphop Namaste is Mauri Parks, mother, Bainbridge Graduate Institute sustainable MBA 2nd year student, feisty and fierce. Today I take my shaky first steps into wearing the cloak of my authentic self, transitional transformation and consciousness evolution in progress... I had an emotional epipany while listening to Brother Ali on yet another rainy day in the "Wood". His new album Us is so beautiful and uplifting I had to do some soul claps during the final track of the CD. Rule number one of sustainability is if you don't believe enough to evangelize the product maybe think about leaving it alone. Hmmm...that's pretty deep. Okay, how about this? On this day forward and forever more I declare my love for and wed thee sustainability until death do us part. In the mean time I am thirsty, in transition mode and stumbling around in the dark. And have happened upon a body of water with a beam of light shining from up above. I never thought to look up. Following the spiral of my soul levitation, finally I have risen to the surface to meet the reflection of myself diving into a long deep abyss into the shadows. I suppose we could call this my cyber blogosphere coming out party. After several weeks of deliberation and dissection of mental models I finally landed in the brave new world of me. The evolution of my voice in my own time. Only love and gratitude for you sharing namaste prime mental landscapes. A debut peek glimpse into my world of words, the physical manifestation of hiphop namaste thoughts.