Saturday, October 31, 2009
Feeling pretty Halloween
I've been feeling like a failure on many fronts. The internal pressure of my head all swirled up with angst, I think it would feel better split in two by a rock dripping blood into my eyes at least I would get some relief from the unrest I feel. Never mind the physical pain. Inadequacy is the word of the week blinking in bright neon across the firestorm of unearthed bad feelings. Rotten and fetid. I guess after all it is Halloween. Far from Namaste I float in a self created purgatory captured by the selfishness of intense emotion. Still struggling to catch up with my life I keep tripping on my peasants clothes, and that elusive finish line moves further and further out into the distance.
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The finish line is an illusion, a human construct that keeps us anxious, keeps us insecure about our standing in the race.
ReplyDeleteWhat if we all knew the true source of our voice of judgment? What if we all collectively demanded an explanation for the madness that keeps us from loving ourselves every second of every day? Would it go away? Could we then live in peace, knowing that each and every one of us has the same wants and the same needs cloaked in different experience?
A failure is someone who gives up. A hero is someone who acknowledges her vulnerabilities but gets up every morning to face the day.
Thanks Julie for the reminder about the finish line being a human construct. I feel an amazing heart swell of gratitude for you encouraging me to reexamine my lens.
ReplyDeletenamaste